angathome

Proactive living

Posted on May 14, 2013 by angathome

Unfortunately none of us have a fairy Godmother who is going to come along and make everything change in the blink of an eye. We've got us and the Holy Spirit. Let's get moving!

Unfortunately none of us have a fairy Godmother who is going to come along and make everything change with a swish of her magic wand.

In the parenting courses that we run, we discuss a concept called proactive parenting, as compared to reactive parenting. Reactive parents do exactly that – react to situations as they arise and parent in the heat of the moment. Proactive parents have a plan to get where they want to go and actively take steps to get there.

When I found my 11 month old sitting next to the art cupboard covered in yellow paint from head to toe I had a choice. Yell, moan about how difficult raising children is, decide that she was the last child we were ever going to have, remove all paint from our house and ban art forever, take her out in the back yard, dangle her by the big toe and hose her off to teach her a lesson (that was tempting!) or I could accept responsibility for the disaster and plan a proactive method to ensure this situation was not repeated. I chose to tweak my flexible routine to ensure that she didn’t have unsupervised time to roam the house in the future.

In life, we all have the choice to live pro-actively or reactively – which way are you choosing?

When was the last time you sat down to honestly reflect on your life and evaluate what is going well and what needs work? Where are your sticky patches? Your areas of stress and difficulty? What are you trying to ignore, get around, push under the mat and otherwise refuse to deal with head on? What can you pat yourself on the back about and sit back to enjoy? What is getting up your nose and ruffling your feathers? What direction are you headed in and is this where you really want to go? Is it where God really wants you to go?

As areas of concern are identified, I write them down; with specifics. Exactly what or who is this problem about. Seeing it on paper helps me to realize that what I feel about a situation is not always accurate or relative to the problem. Sometimes the thing that is unhealthy is a lot smaller and simpler than my feelings would suggest. Sometimes it is a lot bigger and needs to be honestly acknowledged.

Now comes the hard part. Without a strong desire to change, even the best advice will be worthless. Without effort and commitment to improve, chances are you will still be facing the same problems in the future. Do you just want to talk about the problem? Do you just want sympathy? Or are you truly seeking a way to move forward and make the necessary changes? Some circumstances can’t be changed, but the way that you react and respond to them can. We can eliminate some of our problem areas, avert others or at least improve almost all of them.

Some changes take money. Some just take time, some take mental or physical effort. All change will take a decision by you to make it happen and an investment of some kind.

At the end of today’s post, there is a list of headings. You will probably be able to come up with several more of your own to add to it. I would encourage you over the coming week to take some time out to go through the list and give yourself a proactivity check. Identify the areas you would like to change and write them down. If you are like me, you will have a rather long list, which can be a little demoralizing. Perhaps you might like to focus on the most pressing issues. Have a look through your list and choose 3 things to begin with.

What were your dreams and ambitions? Did you always want to paint? Write a book? Sing? Pray an instrument?

Do you have unrealised ambitions or goals? Always wanted to paint, sing, play an instrument, write a book?? Now’s the time to start.

It may be a good idea to focus on only one large, serious thing, and two smaller problems that will be quick and relatively easy to change. You can now make a plan and move forward.

So how do you move forward? You could do one or several of the following:

Pray through each area and ask God for wisdom and direction. (Maybe the underlying issue is that your relationship with God is not where it should be. It is possible to make changes in your own strength, but so much more effective to make them with the help of the Holy Spirit. Perhaps now is the time to get right with God.)
Read the bible and see what He already has to say about it.
Find a Godly older, more mature or more experienced woman to serve as a mentor. (God’s idea, not mine; see Titus 2)
Ask your husband for his ideas. I’m sure he has plenty! They might involve leopard-print, but hear him out anyway! Your husband has wisdom and insight that will help you to see issues in a different light.
Find the resources you need. Buy or borrow a book, listen to a talk on CD, surf the net
Find a friend or family member who is strong in the area of your weaknesses and ask for their help.
Speak to a professional if necessary. Be it counselor, Pastor, financial planner, doctor, nutritionist etc.

Try to be realistic with your goal setting. One of my daughters was very disappointed to be told that she would never realize her ambition of growing up to be a Daddy! She quickly got over it though and decided she would be a snail instead!

When I see the heading “Physical health”, I immediately think of how I would like to bake fresh sour dough bread for our family. I have tried this once and the result was a brick-like loaf that would have made a better doorstop than a sandwich. Clearly, I need more than a recipe printed out from the internet. I am planning to take a 4 hour class with an expert on sour dough and come home equipped with the knowledge I need to achieve my goal. It requires some time, some money and the commitment to go ahead and get it organised.

: Perhaps a mess is driving you insane. Find a home organisation book, train your children to do chores and de-clutter!

When I look at the heading “Household” my linen cupboard comes to mind. Every time I opened the doors, towels and sheets exploded out at me from the over-filled bottom two shelves, while the top 2 shelves sat almost bare of their contents. My daughter is responsible for folding and putting away these items as they come through the wash. As she is only 7 ½ she finds it difficult to reach the top shelves, which results in the contents gradually migrating downwards. The solution? Two $8 sea grass storage baskets to store some of the towels in the other bathroom, re-arranging the cupboard so that the least used items were up the top and storing sheet sets in their matching pillowcases as a compact bundle (a tip from a home organisation book that I read.) While migration does still happen, it has been slowed greatly by the new arrangements.

The heading “Children and family” brings to mind a current issue we are facing. Our 3-year-old son quite often exits the toilet naked from the waist down, regardless of who is at the front door or how many visitors we have in the house. Modesty is something we work on as a family and as my husband and I want our children to be a blessing to others rather than a menace this is a problem we need to address and resolve – before he turns 16.

Your problem areas may be far more serious than the examples I have given. Perhaps you are a single parent, divorced, facing addiction or abuse of some kind. Maybe you have lost 10 kgs and nothing in your wardrobe fits anymore. Perhaps you have gained 10 kg and nothing fits anymore. Maybe you need to get right with God. Whatever it is, it’s time to take action.

Perhaps it's time you gave your appearance an overhaul, starting with your wardrobe.

What’s wrong with my clothes??

Now you may not be a Mother, or wife, but if you are a Christian, your general priorities should be: God first, husband second, children & family third and on from there.

Do not bury your head in the sand and hope your difficulties will go away. Face the problem head on and climb that mountain. We all have an obligation to use our God given talents to the best of our ability. Live intentionally and be proactive.

Your diet will have an impact on your outlook, energy levels and overall health. Is change needed here?

Here are some headings to get you started on your pro-activity check:

Self-improvement (grooming and appearance, wardrobe, character, self-image, skills, talents, hobbies, interests, creativity, goals, aspirations, dreams, leadership)

Mental health (depression, stress, emotional problems, phobias, compulsions, suicidal feelings)

Physical health (diet & nutrition, exercise, weight control, sickness & pain)

Spiritual health (bible study, prayer life, relationship with God, spiritual gifts, teaching, evangelism, discipleship, proverbs 31 woman, Titus 2)

Social/relational (friendships, re-connect with someone, forgive someone, conversation & communication skills)

Marriage (husband/wife relationship, love languages, sex life, date nights, communication, marriage seminars, counseling)

Children and family (character, behaviour, relationships, discipline and training, routine)

Household (menu planning, hospitality, organization, home improvements, decorating, time management)

Work & study (time management, computer, facebook, emails)

Money (budgeting, giving, debt, saving)

Issue	Plan of attack – resources I need or action to take
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3.

Filed under: Christian Education, character, Sundays and the Sabbath | Tagged: children & family, depression, goal setting, household improvements, mental health, planning, pro-active living, self-improvement | 2 Comments »

Read-alouds, audio books and dramatised stories.

Posted on April 16, 2013 by angathome

We have just returned from a family holiday which involved much driving. Having chosen not to go down the road of DVD’s in the car, we instead loaded up the IPOD with a stack of classic audio books and listened to those as a family.

I am very aware of the value that comes from spending time reading aloud to my children. Exposing them to great literature is a priority for me but the reality is that I am just not getting around to it as much as I would like. One of the side effects of this is that the quality of play that the children are involved in has dropped. Gone is the Little House on the Prairie winter house with “Pa”(my eldest son) out protecting “Ma” and the “kids” from wild bears and other wildlife, gone is Captain Hook’s pirate ship and so many other wonderful imaginings that characterised their outdoor time together.

During our holiday we had a wonderful time listening to “The Swiss Family Robinson” while we drove around looking at the beautiful scenery. Conversations have abounded about survival skills and how we would have fared in a similar situation and best of all, our first day back saw the 4 eldest children together outside building a pretend sled to carry their tools, weapons, horses and other survival gear as they set out on an imaginary adventure together.

I have also downloaded and burnt a bunch of classic stories to CD for the children to listen to during their daily room time, over lunch when conversations are getting silly, on beds during rest time (for those no longer sleeping every day) or occasionally at bedtime. Five of the children shared a room at our farm-stay accommodation during our time away so having something to listen to as they were falling asleep helped cut down (but not eliminate!) the silly excitement of being in the same room together and allowed the little ones to get to sleep while the older ones could lay awake a little longer listening to the story.

Visit librivox.org for literally thousands of books that are in the public domain and therefore absolutely free. Volunteer readers (some better than others) have recorded these stories and all you have to do is download them for your listening pleasure. Other sites I have not yet used but offer a similar service are gutenburg.org, audiobooksforfree.com and verkaro.org,

Many dramatised audiobooks are available through online booksellers such as bookdepository.com, Focus on the Family, Lamplighter and others. We purchased “Sir Knight of the Splendid Way” from Lamplighter and after stopping at our destination only part way through the story were barely back in the car before I heard “Aren’t you going to put The Splendid Way back on?” – from my husband!

Filed under: Homeschooling | Tagged: car travel with toddlers, child friendly holidays, classic literature, dramatised audio books, family vacations, read-alouds, travel activities, travelling with children | 2 Comments »

Montessori style practical life tray activities for toddlers

Posted on April 2, 2013 by angathome

Today’s post is a potpourri of Montessori tray activity ideas. They cover a range of skills and fall into a number of practical life categories, but all are great for teaching your toddler to sit and concentrate for an extended period. I have spoken to a number of Mums recently about the difficulty they have in getting their toddlers to sit for any length of time at the one activity. One method that has helped me to achieve this with my toddlers is to include highchair time, table time, and mat or blanket time in our flexible routine. These are times when Mum chooses what the toddler will play with and where they will play. (See choices.)

I use my Montessori style tray activities for highchair time with my young toddlers or during table time for my older children. For those little ones who are “done” with an activity after only a minute or two, I have used a timer to extend them. I put it on for 5 minutes and let them know that I will give them a new activity to play with when the timer is done. They may choose to be finished with their current activity and just sit and wait for the next one or (and this is what usually happens very quickly) they will realise that since there will be nothing else to do until the timer finishes, they will choose to go back to the activity they have been given and work on it for a little longer. The timer I use is a visual timer so they can see how much time is left as it counts down. It also has an option to turn off the beeper so that if they have become engaged in a task the beep of the timer does not disturb their concentration. As they become more able to concentrate for an extended period, the time is lengthened accordingly and eventually the timer is no longer necessary.

The older preschoolers who have developed sufficient self control and concentration are given the freedom to choose their own tray activity, take it to a designated space, work on the task, pack it up and return it to the cupboard before choosing another activity.

If you are getting started for the first time with an 18 month to 2 year old, 5 minutes for each activity is reasonable and the entire session may only last for 15 to 20 minutes to begin with. A two year old will quickly work up to a 30 minute session, but still may need a change of activity after 5 minutes. If I was planning a half hour session of highchair time (long enough to cook dinner) I will organise the 6 activities I need to be on hand before I start. (It may be a good idea to keep them out of view to begin with to prevent their attention being diverted by another activity that looks more interesting!) As the child gets older, the complexity of the activities increases and their ability to concentrate without needing to change improves and therefore the number of activities I need to have ready becomes less. My 3 year olds will need only 1 or 2 different activities for a half hour period depending on what I have provided them with. They are also given some choice over which activity they work on.

The other benefit of having toddlers sit in a confined area to complete these tray tasks is that I can give them breakable and delicate equipment without fear that they will be accidentally damaged and also keep an eye on them with small attractive materials like coloured beads that little children are quite likely to want to pop in their mouths.

Now for some activities! Tweezer transfer activities are great for fine motor skills and require a similar grip to that used for pencil grip when writing. Transfer activities can easily lead into other beginning math skills such as sorting by colour. This duck container holds 4 colours of beads to be sorted into the 4 bowls. Younger children will have fun simply transferring them randomly and very young children may need a small spoon to transfer with, rather than the tweezers.

Great for even the youngest toddler, poking toothpicks into floristry oasis encourages pincer grip development. I found that the green oasis crumbled very easily so I would recommend covering it in open weave fabric to contain any dust. I have since been told that the grey oasis is much tougher and shouldn’t crumble or create dust. Foam blocks also work well. (See shape, cat and assorted pictures below.)

The follow-on activity was to place the toothpicks into marked holes to form simple shapes and then on to pictures.

Keep the number of dots on each picture to a minimum for little ones. Too many make it difficult to get their hand in for the next toothpick.

These pictures are drawn onto card and pinned onto styrofoam pieces cut to fit into the wooden box.

Posting coins through money-box slots. I left the bottom open so that the children can simply shake the coins out the bottom and do it again.

Posting wooden shapes is a good intro to shape recognition . Start with cylinders because it doesn’t matter which way the child puts it into the hole. Squares are next as they must line up but will still go in no matter which way up they are. The open slot at the front of the box allows the child to reach in and/or tip the shapes back out and for the little ones is very much part of the attraction.

Add other shapes such as triangles or a combination of shapes to increase the level of difficulty.

This magnet activity is fun. Hide lots of little items in a bowl of rice. The child moves a strong magnet around in the rice to find which items will stick. The number of spots on the tray designates how many magnetic items they need to find.

Sorting objects according to attributes is another basic mathematical concept. This beginning sorting activity has a large bowl for the large/big objects and a small bowl for the small objects. My just turned 2 year olds can usually handle this one.

Learning to set the table is a household chore for us and learned very easily by actually doing it! Little ones however find it lots of fun to practise this skill with a couple of teddies and some play food. Provide 2 place mats (plastic, fabric or just a sheet of paper) with the outline of the items on them for little ones to match each item to so that they know when they have done it “properly.”

This one is for the very young. Babies do love to put things in and out of containers and if you keep changing the items and type of container, this style of activity is good for months. It is great for fine motor skills and concentration and pretty much free to make. Whip one up in just a minute or two and watch the intense concentration as they use that all important pincer grip (necessary for writing later) to grasp the end of the pasta and carefully post it into the holes. Use this activity for mat time, highchair time, table time or with straws (so they don’t eat the pasta when you are not closely supervising them) for playpen time or room time.

With all of these activities, if your child finds them too difficult and is still frustrated after you have shown them how to do it and given them some time to practice, put it away and reintroduce it in a couple of weeks or months. Many of the Montessori style activities are very developmentally based and when introduced at the right time will be stimulating and extending to a toddler, not frustrating and overly difficult.

Teaching young children to sit and concentrate for extended periods is a vital foundation for later learning and helps you as Mum to keep the house and family running as you can get your own tasks finished knowing that your little ones are happily and safely occupied with a valuable learning experience.

Filed under: Workjobs & Montessori activities for highchair, mat or table time(mathematics, language, practical life & others) | Tagged: activities for babies, fine motor skills, flexible routines for toddlers, focussing and concentrating skills, highchair activities, home-made Montessori, homeschooling with toddlers, mat time and blanket time, Montessori style tray activities for toddlers, pre-writing activities | 3 Comments »

Emergency Visitor Scramble

Posted on March 13, 2013 by angathome

Have you ever walked around a display home or perhaps one of your friend’s homes and admired the perfectly arranged, tastefully decorated and incredibly neat rooms? On occasion I have to confess that I have wished for a house that is always “visitor ready.” With 6 homeschooled children however, the reality is that our house is functional, never filthy, but sometimes slightly (oh, ok downright) untidy.

It also seems that it is on the days when things are at their worst that the phone rings to let us know that someone is just around the corner and about to pop in for a visit. Thus, the emergency visitor scramble was born.

All the children have regular daily responsibilities (chores) and throughout the week we cycle through the main cleaning jobs so as a general rule, the house isn’t too far from presentable. We are working towards the long-term goal of fully equipping our children in all areas of responsibility relating to running a household so that by the age of 14 or so they will have all the skills involved in being able to manage their own homes well.

Because we have taken the time to train them to clean the house, organising our visitor scramble wasn’t too difficult. I simply call out “Emergency Visitor Scramble, come to Mummy!” and all the children report for duty. Knowing that the visitors are only a short time away gives us the incentive to work hard together, knowing that it will only be for a short time period.

The house is divided into zones and these areas are quickly parcelled out. We all dash like crazy to get the worst of the mess stowed and tidy before the knock sounds on the door. The little ones are paired with an older sibling or myself who give them specific small jobs to do (pick up the dinky cars) or are sent on deliveries (take the socks to the laundry basket etc.)

The toilet is checked and spot cleaned, the floors are picked up, bedroom doors shut and offending items tossed out of sight. Some families like to have a list for this, but I prefer to just look around and tackle whatever is the worst at the time. The older children who have enough initiative are sent to the most conspicuous areas with their little helpers while I direct the others.

Another strategy that we employ on a regular basis is a whole family house sweep. It works very similarly to the scramble, except instead of everyone heading off in different directions to try to cover the whole house, we all start in one room and work together until it is done before moving to the next area and so on throughout the house. This is a 5 or 10 minute per room tidy-up, not a deep clean and Mum and Dad are the directors. The eldest children who have enough initiative to handle it choose what they will tackle in each room, while little ones are given specific instructions to complete small bite-sized tasks. The adults do whatever else needs to be done while marshalling the troops.

We now can transform a pigsty into a reasonably tidy looking house in a very short time. All that’s left to do is throw a brush through my hair and fling that door open with a cheery smile and the visitors are none the wiser!

Easter traditions and activities for children (minus the bunny)

Posted on February 24, 2013 by angathome

Easter is just around the corner and Lent has already begun. It’s time to start thinking about plans for this season if you haven’t already. I want to make more of Easter this year, considering the death and resurrection of Jesus is so important to the Christian faith, and yet Easter seems to creep up on me and not get the attention it deserves.

I have been going back over last years’ ideas (here and here) and pinning a bunch of new ideas to try on my Easter pinboard on Pinterest. (If you haven’t discovered Pinterest yet it’s a great way to keep track of all those wonderful ideas you find on the web and want to get around to doing “some day.”)

The children are colouring one symbol a day during Lent for our wooden cross “Jesus trees” and reading the related story from a fairly detailed children’s bible. I bought all the stuff to make a living hill of Calvary last year and never got it started so that is next on the plan this year. I want to make the tomb cookies with the really cool story …. and the list goes on.

Oh, and just in case you are wondering, the oranges in the photo above have no symbolism whatsoever – they just hold up the crosses really well

What are you doing with your children this year?

Filed under: Celebrations, events & festivals (Christmas, birthdays etc.) | Tagged: Christian Easter traditions, church, Easter crafts and activities, Easter ideas for children, holidays, homeschoolers, Jesus Tree, minus the bunny, preschoolers, religion | Leave a Comment »

Buffet training

Posted on January 31, 2013 by angathome

Something we try to remember as parents is not to expect our children to do anything while out that they do not do at home. For example, if my toddlers are unable to sit at the table for any length of time after a meal, I wouldn’t ask them to do so in a restaurant. We think it is unfair to expect something from them that we have not trained them to be able to do in the first place.

Asher in his highchair

With long-term goals in mind, we include highchair time as a regular part of our daily routine and our little ones are used to happily staying in their highchairs after meals with a couple of small activities to play with for a reasonable amount of time. We can then go to a restaurant or meeting and set them up with something to do and know that they will be happy to sit for quite a while without expecting to get straight down. At home, it means that I have time to finish cleaning up the table and kitchen and leave the area without having a trail of mess that I need to come back to later.

A sitting up on the mat

There are times when we visit others or find ourselves in a situation where there are just too many tempting items for the baby to get into. A young child will only stay in your arms for so long! Mat time training can help here. See introducing mat time and mat time on the go for ideas and explanations. Using a partacot (portable crib) as a playpen can also work well for those china filled houses. (See also starting late.)

Take a look around your table during a meal. If visitors were present, would you be embarrassed? Table etiquette and manners are something we need to go over and over (sigh..) but one strategy that has really helped us is the “3 warning” system.

We occasionally hold “buffet training” evenings. They are great for a family night activity and really very simple. All we do is put out a whole array of food on the kitchen bench in lots of bowls and have the children move along and serve themselves in the same way they would do at a buffet. We discuss etiquette at the same time and add our own rules to make it work for a home dinner. (For example, “You may skip over no more than 3 of the dishes” to ensure that the tomato haters are satisfied but the vegetable phobic children still end up with a few specimens of the veggie kind on their plate.) The children need to know how to take an appropriate amount, avoid wastage, to think of others coming behind them, use the tongs, general manners and so on.

Hosting high teas and other special events in our home and having the older children act as greeters, seaters, waiters and waitresses is also something they love and helps them to learn how to show hospitality and serve others by making people feel welcome and comfortable.

Have you ever had a visitor’s child waltz through your house as if they owned it, helping themselves to whatever they like? If children are used to having complete freedom in their own home to go wherever they like, touch what they like and do what they like, then don’t be surprised if they do the same while they are out.

As well as having a routine in place, limiting inappropriate choices and providing verbal, physical or visual barriers in our own home, when we arrive at someone’s house or a play area, one of the first things we do is identify the physical boundaries for the children.

We also spend a little time on the way there discussing the kinds of situations they may face and have the older children remind the younger ones of the manners they need to remember (a good review for them as well!)

To avoid having young children who will only sleep in their own cots at home, we occasionally put them to sleep in a variety of situations; in the portacot in another room, in the pram, on a sibling’s bed, in our big bed, at Grandparentss house for an overnight etc. While they never sleep as well when we are out, at least they will have part of a nap.

While far from perfect, the children are slowly growing and developing into young adults that we hope will be a blessing to us and to others.

Filed under: Child training & behaviours | Tagged: behaviour, boundaries, etiquette, highchair activities, manners, mat time, playpen time, training | Leave a Comment »

Homeschooling with toddlers and preschoolers

Posted on January 12, 2013 by angathome

Whether you like to call them Montessori tray activities, tot school, preschool, workboxes, workjobs, shoebox tasks or Ziploc bag activities, providing younger siblings with engaging, educational and worthwhile tasks to do while you homeschool older siblings is vital for a smooth day with well occupied children.

While you can get some schooling done while little ones are napping, I prefer to get the bulk of our formal schooling completed as early in the day as possible when the children (and I) are freshest. Last year we had around an hour while the younger ones were in room time (playpen time for littlies) and we could also use mat time (or blanket time.) Now that we have older children though, this is not long enough to complete all of their workload and the twins are turning 3 so a new era has dawned!

The twins will be “starting school” with the big kids. They will now be included in our morning circle time, followed by table activities before they go off to room time. The list of possible table activity ideas is almost endless but our “school” trays will be more Montessori in style.

As I have done in the past, I have chosen a list of categories for each tray and put one example of each category out on the shelf. When it comes time to update the trays in a couple of weeks as interest declines, I will simply swap out the materials but keep the type of activity the same. (See starting out.) This term our trays are gluing, cutting, stickers and drawing, tong transfer, spooning/teddy play, scooping/teddy play, threading. Duplo copying and water pouring.

The best thing about this year’s preparation is that in the past I have taken photographs of all our tray activities along the way. This meant that I could simply hand the older children a couple each and ask them to go and get everything in the photo and assemble the activity. I pointed out that this was an opportunity to bless their little brother and sister. They quite enjoyed doing it, especially as I gave them latitude to change the activities a little with different pretty pots and equipment to suit their own tastes. In about an hour we had a whole term worth of trays set up and ready to go. (Plus the extra half hour to put away all the mess that the children created as they were collecting the gear but I wont mention that!)

Filed under: Homeschooling, Workjobs & Montessori activities for highchair, mat or table time(mathematics, language, practical life & others) | Tagged: highchair activities, home-made Montessori, homeschooling with a large family, homeschooling with toddlers, Montessori for preschoolers, Montessori style tray activities, practical life, preschool, shoebox tasks, table activities, tot school, workboxes, workstations | 4 Comments »

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