The 3 times rule

Posted on May 3, 2012 by angathome

My wonderful husband; the only adult who got in there with the kids on the black plastic water-slide at family camp.

I wrote some time ago about the 10 times rule for children. Today it’s the 3 times rule for husbands. At an Easter conference for families and leaders in ministry, the wives got together for an informal chat about ways to support our husbands. There were many ideas bandied around, most of which I had heard before. But one was new to me and worth passing on. It is very simple; the first time your husband does something that irritates, grates, you dislike or simply don’t want him to do for practical reasons, say nothing. The second times he repeats the action, say nothing. After the third occasion it is time to raise the subject – at an appropriate time. More on that in a minute.

Let me give you an example. I like my house to be fairly tidy but don’t knock myself out about it. With 6 children I’ve had to face the reality that it will never look like a display home. However, when I have cleaned up and it is looking good, the first bit of mess or clutter that is dumped really bothers me. My husband arrived home to a spotless kitchen and dining area (rare I know) and proceeded to kick his shoes off underneath the bench before heading outside to play with the children. My immediate impulse was to tell him (politely) not to leave his shoes there please, with the fear that he might start doing it regularly. When I stopped to think about it I had to concede that he usually doesn’t leave his shoes there and that this was a one-off occurrence. With that in mind, I said nothing.

If however, he began to kick them off there day after day it would be time to raise the matter. Now to the next important point; how to raise it. With my personality type, I tend to confront immediately and efficiently and solve what I see as the problem straight away. It is in fact often wiser to wait for a moment when you are free from conflict, both calm and relaxed and you have had time to think through the words you will use and how to phrase the problem so as to not sound negative, angry or like a nit-picking, nagging wife.

It may be that it is time to praise some of the things you do like about what your husband does, before starting on the things you don’t like. Next time you catch yourself about to jump in with a negative, stop and think. Is this the third time? You’ll be surprised at how many things can be left to slide by without comment, leaving only those that you really do need to talk about. Your husband will appreciate it.

[9] It is better to live in a corner of the housetop
than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.
(Proverbs 21:9 ESV)

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Outdoor activities: Hopper races and obstacle courses

Posted on March 21, 2012 by angathome

We are blessed to have a great backyard. Plenty of space and very child-friendly. We still however hear the occasional moans about not wanting to go outside and having nothing to do. While that doesn’t wash in our house and the children are sent out anyway, I am finding that they are not sleeping at night as well as they should be and I suspect it is because of lack of physical exercise. In the heat they tend to gather in the shady sandpit and while it is lots of fun, doesn’t give them the exercise they need.

My usual response to the “I have nothing to do” complaint is to tell the kids to sit on a chair and think of something. I let them know that in 5 minutes I will be coming back and if they don’t have a plan will be giving them something to do. The children all know this is code for WORK so usually they will quickly re-direct themselves. If not, a corner of my garden gets some weeds pulled out or the sand around the sandpit gets swept up. Good exercise for them and great for me!

One outside activity we have done together that was enjoyed by everyone was hopper races. We set out hoses, broom handles, ropes, sports equipment, mats and a bunch of items from around the backyard and arranged them into an interesting obstacle course. The children then hopped through with their hoppers, circling some items, jumping over others, hopping backwards in some sections and weaving through other parts. They helped design the course and decide on the level of difficulty. Handicaps for the younger and slower members were decided on and the races began. Lots of hot sweaty fun was had by all and what’s more, they were totally exhausted by the end of it. Mission accomplished!

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Birthday Letter tradition and memory keeping

Posted on March 16, 2012 by angathome

Our gorgeous 5 on Christmas morning 2011.

Special events are always a reminder to me of how fast time is flying. In the future I will treasure memories of these occasions and I have to remind myself to take the time to make a record. We think that we will never forget important details about our children but it is amazing how much fades with time and sometimes in a very short time!

A new baby, especially your first, prompts us to ask our own parents all sorts of questions about our own birth and early years. Unless your parents were record keepers, you have probably found that the details are sketchy and if you are one of many siblings, may be very hazy indeed!

We as Mothers often think we’ll remember those funny or special moments and family times but they do fade so easily. Even now the kids ask me things about their own birth (bought on by all the talk of the impending birth of their new baby brother) and I am unsure of some of the details or even which child it was. Luckily I have it all safely recorded and we can pull out their baby albums and have a read through together, which they thoroughly enjoy.

I have made it a real priority to at least get the first year of each child’s life into their own album with their diary of their pregnancy (short notes along the way, what the siblings have said etc.) birth story, measurements, first bath, first roll-over, when they first sat, stood and walked etc. I have also tried to take photos of all these milestones along the way.

I figure they’ll be able to share their own baby years with their children and their children’s children, even if for some reason I’m not around to share it with them. I’d like to think that when I’m gone these albums will give them a link to memories they may otherwise forget.

Sometimes you just need to capture the day-to-day events. Morning tea on the sandpit edge, holes in tights and all.

Even if scrapbooking is not your thing, take a moment every now and again to make a note (on the calendar or in a diary or special book) of each child’s milestones, habits, interests, favourite sayings, achievements, funny events, likes, dislikes etc. At each child’s birthday I use these notes to write out their “reflections” for the year. All the things that made that year memorable. I use the following headings to remind me of all the things I want to include; songs & sayings, food, eating, likes & dislikes, sleeping, toys, games & activities, school & achievements, outings & events, when I grow up, fears, brothers & sisters, books, clothes & friends.

My husband also sits down and writes a letter to each child on their birthday. What a treasured possession I am sure these letters will be to our children one day. Imagine having a letter from your Dad for every year of your life. Reflections, joys, events, happenings, expression of love and as they get older he may include words of wisdom, advice, blessings and prayers etc.

This is a wonderful way to ensure that they know you love and appreciate them and everything that  makes them who they are. They will know and have a record in writing of your love and feelings about them and the special things you shared along the way.

Put it on your “to do” list today!

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Children who stand strong in their faith: Walking against the crowd

Posted on February 24, 2012 by angathome

One of the topics raised amongst our GEMS leaders a little while back was how to go about raising children who are able to stand strong in their faith even when no-one else is walking with them and they are away from the sheltering influence of their parents and family. How do we prepare them to be in the world but not of the world; to be able to choose the narrow path and walk against the flow? (Even if that means standing alone because “every one else is doing it!”)

I believe the key is that our children must develop their own genuine saving faith and not be relying on ours to carry them through. They must have the Holy Spirit as their strength and their own conviction to stand on God’s word and to follow His commandments and statutes. Our teaching as parents must be overt, deliberate, ongoing, free from hypocrisy, giving a good role model and above all, reaching the heart of our children. Our teaching will be molding the external behavior of our children, but this must transition to heart knowledge, to the child internalizing the beliefs for themselves. We can only do so much here and pray that God will do the rest. In the end, when a difficult test comes, only if our children have chosen God and His ways for themselves will they make the difficult decisions and stand alone if necessary, because otherwise they simply will not want to!

Dads should be leading their family spiritually. There are many ways to do this, including holding family devotions, leading world view discussions on current affairs, discussing what they believe and why and relating that back to the bible. Be deliberate in teaching the bible, memorizing scripture, training character, reading inspiring books with a message and praying together. Soak your children in the beliefs, understandings and world view you want them to have well before a time of testing will come. Decisions made ahead of time without the emotions and pressure of the heat of the moment, decisions that have been discussed, thought through, prayed over and become an internalized way of life will not be overturned quickly. We all can think of actions and decisions made in the heat of the moment that we wish we could change and would have done differently had we previously thought through the issues involved.

You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

(Deuteronomy 6:7 ESV)

We need to keep the lines of communication open; talking about everything. Make time alone to share, bond and discuss those innermost thoughts and feelings. Work to surround your children with peers who are being raised with similar convictions, standards and beliefs. Two or more standing together is so much easier than one standing alone. Foster a close relationship. Fill their love tanks. A child who knows that they are unconditionally loved by their families will have an extra inner reserve of strength to stand firm. A needy, empty child will turn to those who fulfill those needs that are not being met at home.

Certain personalities will be more naturally able to take a leadership role and less likely to blindly follow the crowd. All of us need to be able to make the hard decisions though and learn not to follow when the leaders are leading in the wrong direction. Teach your children about personality types and love languages. Help them to identify their own strengths and weaknesses and areas that they will have to be particularly vigilant in. Help to identify why they feel the way they do and to be able to be objective about their decision making.

Guard your child’s ear and eye gate. Give them excellent literature to read that portrays great role models and biblical worldview; do not pollute their innocence with worldly ideas through literature, magazines or on screen. Choose television programmes very carefully or better still get rid of the T.V. completely. The more exposure to non-biblical thinking we give our children the more they will be subtly bought into the idea of the world’s norms and tend to adapt them as their own. Slow attitude change is often hardly noticeable but Hollywood has its own agenda and it shouldn’t fit with ours as Christians. If the role models they are watching and listening to are “doing it” then children are being nudged in that direction and may begin to normalize non-biblical behaviour and accept it as ok.

Shield your child by not putting them into situations that will likely test them before they are ready to handle it. Be aware of the scenarios faced at sleep-overs, parties, weekends away and the like. I had good friends who were fairly like-minded, with careful parents. It was only through the grace of God however that I came through the parties, sleepovers and get-togethers we attended relatively unscathed. I’m sure my parents would have been horrified to know what went on at some of the places we went to – even those with so-called responsible adults in attendance!

Substitute inappropriate situations with alternatives if there are such available. For example, the end of year 11 was a time to go away camping with all the highschoolers and a time of drinking, partying and a lot of other things we don’t need to list. There was no way my parents were prepared to let me go away unchaperoned and luckily for me many of my friends’ parents felt the same way. My Mother volunteered to take us all camping and attended as the supervising adult (much to my embarrassment at the time.) She did turn out to be remarkably “cool” and as it was this or nothing everyone came and we had a great time together.

There are no easy answers and no quick fixes. Equipping our children to stand strong on their convictions is a process and we build on to that equipping every day for years.

  [9] And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

(Galatians 6:9 ESV)

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Christmas Traditions: Memories for a lifetime

Posted on December 16, 2011 by angathome

Christmas is a special time for most families and it is such a great time to deliberately focus on creating family traditions that will be remembered and treasured for a lifetime by our children, grandchildren and perhaps on through the generations. Traditions help to knit families together; they are part of the glue that keeps families whole, fostering interdependence as a family rather than independence from the family.

Each year we add a few more traditions and carry on with those we like that we have already started. Here are some of the many things we do together as a family and extended family that help make Christmas special for us:

  • The children decorate the Christmas tree on December the 1st while the grown-ups take video and photos. Christmas carols play in the background and the kids have a wonderful time handling all those sparkling decorations and arranging them any way they please.
  • The youngest child (who is able) tops the tree with the Christmas star.
  • The Christmas books that only come out at this time of year are placed in a basket under the tree for reading in the evening after dinner. The tree lights are turned on and I read aloud from one of the  stories. I try to purchase a couple of new books each year in the after Christmas sales so that there is something new for me to read. There are some wonderful stories that are designed to be read piece by piece across advent and other beautiful Christmas tales that we read a chapter a night from.
  • A selection of carols and Christmas worship music is available, as are a stack of Christmas videos for those days when everyone is way too tired to get along. (Usually the day after “Carols in the Park” for example when we stay up way past the kids’ bedtimes.)
  • We read daily bible readings from our Jesse tree scrolls and each child takes turns to unwrap the related symbol for the tree.
  • Every morning one child takes their turn to open the little wooden doors of our advent calendar and add the next character to the nativity story display. On a few surprise days there are little treats hidden in with the characters.
  • The advent wreath and candles are set up and we light them during our daily Jesse tree devotion or at another time such as the evening meal.
  • The nativity scenes are set out and available for little ones to play with; a sturdy china set for the older children and a fabric set for the little ones.
  • We make Christmas crafts together. Nothing super tricky or spectacular and often the same ones each year such as paper chains, recycled greeting card sewing cards and a multitude of home-made Christmas cards using different craft techniques (the more glitter and sparkly glue the better according to the girls!)
  • The Mummy and Daddy shop opens for business. The children use their hard-earned pocket-money to purchase small gifts for their siblings from a selection I purchase for this purpose.
  • We visit a local carols service with activities for the children, wonderful colour changing candles that they can all safely hold (the days of burning patches in the grass with real candles are long gone, sigh..) and yummy snacks. We set the kids up in their little camping chairs wrapped in blankets and we all have a ball staying up late and soaking up the festive atmosphere. Sometimes we meet up with other families and usually at least one set of Grandparents is able to come along and enjoy the evening.

    Grandma has her own tradition of fancy Christmas headgear, flashy Christmas light earings and necklaces or similar. The church congregation look forward each year to seeing what she will be wearing to the Christmas service!

  • We are taking a break this year, but for the past several years my husband’s side of the family have made gifts for each other, instead of purchasing. Each name is drawn out of a hat and each adult hand-makes something for that person. Some of the resulting gifts have been quite spectacular and always involve much love and care. And yes, even the men do it and they have been just as creative as the women.

    Last year I hand painted a chicken hutch that we had been given for my brother-in-law who keeps chooks.

  • To cut down the number of gifts we all need to buy, we have long since instigated the plan that we only buy for the children in each family, rather than the adults as well. (Excepting families who had no children.) To keep it fair, now that we have so many children in our family we will be suggesting that perhaps a family gift will be better for next year. Other families we know do this and they have some wonderful ideas for inexpensive gifts that the whole family can enjoy together. One family we know is giving tickets to a water playground (entry is not expensive) along with a couple of toys to play with in the mini river while they are there and a few special snacks to share together. Sounds good to me!
  • We haven’t pulled this together this year, but our suggestion for next year on the Pascoe side is that all the children prepare an item (song, musical instrument piece, short play etc.) to perform for the whole family. We think this will be fun and add to the day.
  • I’m not going to get into the rights and wrongs of guns here (I know people feel very strongly about that!) but the water pistol fight is turning into a yearly tradition that is enjoyed by all. Christmas day is almost always hot and some cooling yet boisterous activity to burn off all that dessert and surplus child energy is needed.
  • The meal itself is always simple. We are usually outdoors, so the BBQ is fired up and a range of cold meats and seafoods or BBQ meat is prepared with delectable salads and accompaniments. Everyone pitches in to bring food and the host family rotates each year so the load doesn’t always fall on the same person. What food is served is never a big issue but it is seldom the traditional turkey and roast.
  • The Christmas table is usually set with bonbons and we all read out the obligatory bad jokes and wear the paper hats while we eat.
  • The Pascoes take a yearly family photo which provides a nice keepsake for everyone. Traditionally it is done at the last-minute when we are all looking our worst and wondering if we have food stuck in our teeth.
  • On Christmas morning we begin the day with the final advent reading. Our hope is that throughout this day and the entire Christmas season we can keep the focus as much as possible on Jesus’ birth and the real meaning of Christmas. (See Christian Families and Father Christmas.) We give our own children their gifts and they give their gifts to each other. We all take turns to open the presents, with only one child at a time unwrapping gifts so we can all see and appreciate what has been chosen for them. We then share a light breakfast together before getting dressed and heading out to church.
  • At the Pascoe celebration, the children’s gifts are given out before the meal. Grandpa or another family member hands out the gifts to one child at a time, starting with the youngest. They sit on his knee to open them and again we all have a chance to admire the gifts and to see what the child receives. We all spend a long time choosing special gifts and like to take the time to really enjoy each one as it is given. 
  • The McEwan side of the family has a very similar celebration with a large family get together, feast table and lots of gifts, however the gift giving is much more spontaneous and the deafening roar of crackling paper is heard as everyone rips into gifts at the same time and we race around afterwards trying to work out who gave which child what! Lots of fun but much more chaotic!

However you choose to celebrate this year, remember to focus on the birth of Jesus and the amazing salvation that we can all have as a result of this sacrifice from God.

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The Sorting Out Prayer (Sibling conflict)

Posted on November 15, 2011 by angathome

Product: Parents Arise Image

After using the “Children Arise” CD’s with my children for circle time I was interested in reading the story of how they came about in “Parents Arise” by Janine Target. I thoroughly enjoyed the book and recommend having a look. (Here at Koorong or here at Growing Families) With the author’s permission, I am reproducing below just one of the ideas she presented in her book and I think it was worth purchasing it for this alone.

We have always had our children apologise (say “sorry”) for mistakes and accidents and ask for forgiveness for deliberate sins (acts of unkindness etc.) They are required to reconcile by making eye contact, naming the specific sin, asking for forgiveness (I’m sorry I spoke unkindly to you, will you forgive me?) and then hugging the offended person. (There is just something about physical contact that melts hearts and helps siblings to reconcile. Older children, especially boys, are required to shake hands.)

Once they have worked through this process, they spend some time praying about it and asking for God’s forgiveness and help for future events. Janine’s sorting out prayer takes this part of the process a couple of vital steps further and I will be introducing it as part of our family pattern for making things right with God and between family members from now on.

Here it is as it appears on page 102 of her book:

The Sorting Out Prayer

1. I forgive ……….. for…………

(Matthew 6:14,15)

2. Dear God please forgive ……….. for ………….

(Luke 23:34)

3. Please forgive me for getting angry.

(1 John 1:9)

4. Please take all the anger and upset out of me.

(1 John 1:9)

5. Please bless ………

(Luke 6:27, 28)

In Janine’s words; “It keeps us free from resentment, kept our forgiveness up to date, and it helped create an environment for strong and healthy emotional growth in each of our children.”

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Camping with little ones, heat and ticks.

Posted on October 4, 2011 by angathome

School holidays are upon us. For those of you who are heading off camping with your families over the school break, well done! You are creating memories that will last a lifetime and taking one more step towards building a strong family identity. I thought I would post the following story which I wrote after a camping trip with my family at the beginning of the year . With five children 7 and under at the time, it was an interesting experience and yes, we will do it again over the Christmas break! (Just without the ticks this time.)

After 2 days of planning and organizing around all the usual daily activities, we woke early and were on our way by 8.30am, which wasn’t a bad start as it was only 30 minutes after we had hoped to leave. We drove the 1 ¼ hour distance to the Neergabby campsite and were pleasantly surprised at how close it actually was. We pulled into the driveway to be greeted by Nan and Granddad and the rest of their 4 wheel drive club and informed that the campsite was riddled with large ticks. After some debate it was decided that it may be best to set up camp away from the trees and longer grass as there appeared to be less of an infestation there. (This of course meant that we were in the full sun on a 31 degree day.) We set up camp without much assistance from the children who were eager to get out and meet the gang and begin events for the day.

We enjoyed a pleasant day of games and craft with the whole group, young and old, lunch on the verandah, cups of teas and chit chat – while looking after our 5 of course. The twins found several willing hands to be passed around to and the older children had a couple of other playmates to run about with. They received an extremely generous Christmas bag from a club member and copious amounts of lolly bags and chocolate prizes throughout the day to give the kids that sugar rush we parents always love.

The late afternoon was filled with sliding down the plastic sheet waterslide pulled by a rope which was enjoyed immensely but ended tragically as the soldier ants whose nest we had apparently disturbed finally came out to find out what was going on over their heads. Several children (including 2 of ours) suffered painful stings. We cleaned up for a sumptuous Christmas banquet under the beautifully decorated rotunda. Mum and Dad were camp directors and had knocked themselves out making it special for everyone and didn’t sit down the entire weekend.

All children were bedded down by 8 and quiet when I checked on them (I think they heard me coming) and all was well for a while, until Master 7 appeared to tell us that one twin had been woken up by everyone else talking. We settled him down, got all the others quiet and Daddy stood guard for noise outside the tent while I returned for the raffle draw. The stayers kept on for the guitar led singsong, but we retired fairly early to bed.

We both struggled to go to sleep, being either too hot in our sleeping bags or too cold out of them. The night wasn’t tooo bad – I was only awakened once for the toilet, twice for “I can’t get back in my sleeping bag” (from a previously hot but now cold child who was under the bag rather than in it), once to feed a baby (also awakened by the sleeping bag incident) and finally to push another child back onto her own mattress (she had turned sideways and was trying to get comfortable at her brother’s feet – grumpily telling him “Don’t, stop it, stop it,” as she was kicked in the head while he tried to push her off him in his sleep.) The kookaburras started at 4/4.30am but went away fairly quickly, the first neighbours were chatting around 6am and the first child was awake at 6.30am, needing to go to the toilet.

Breaky of toast, eggs and leftover ham was up on the verandah in a lovely cool breeze and after this leisurely start, we faced the task of packing everything back in the car and trailer again.

We spend 2 hours in the already boiling sun re-packing all the gear into the car and trailer while the twins sleep in their pram in the shade (lucky them!) Miss 3 1/2 completely lost it and spent the whole packing time crying about her sore arm, sore tummy and how tired she felt and the oldest two pestered us continuously to eat more lollies and chocolates from their Christmas bags. Fellow campers flipped camper-vans back together in 20 minutes and enjoyed a cuppa in the shade whilst pondering the joys of being Grandparents rather than parents and packing for 2, rather than 7. We spent the morning wondering whether all our fond memories of camping growing up were due to the obliviousness of childhood and selective memory, however Mum tells me that no, it wasn’t anywhere like this much work for them!

We finished eventually and took leave of the camp-site, electing to skip the car museum trip and simply head home with our tired crew. Master 7(who sits between the twins) was very patient and kept busy giving the twins offers of milk and finger food during the trip while Miss 3 1/2 told us over and over that her tummy and arm hurt until she finally fell asleep.  Twenty minutes down the road, Master 7 informed us that there was a brown substance (that looked exactly like melted chocolate but unfortunately wasn’t) on the baby toy, his hands and oozing out of a twin’s nappy into the car seat. We stopped by the side of road to change said twin, including his clothes, wipe his seat, Master 7’s hand and wrap up the toy to deal with later. We resumed the trip again to hear a yell from the back seat that there was a tick on the feeding pillow. We stopped the car again and I threw the tick out of the window with my bare hands (Mummy to the rescue yet again.) The final tick count for the weekend: 3 off the sides of the tent, 2 off the floor of the tent, 4 off the children, 3 off Daddy, 1 off me and many sightings. God answered my prayers and none actually bored into skin.

Twenty minutes further into the journey Miss 3 1/2 woke up, cried and threw up in her lap. We stopped by the roadside yet again to clean her up the best we could, wondering throughout whether ticks were crawling up my legs or were they just flies I could feel? As we set off yet again, Daddy and I laughed uncontrollably at the absurdity of the situation and wondered what could possibly go wrong next. We FINALLY reached the city and the home stretch, only to hear Master 7 tell us that he needed to go to the toilet and no, he couldn’t wait 15 minutes until we got home. We pulled off the freeway and stopped by a clump of out of the way bushes for longer than would ordinarily be necessary (apparently he really did need to go) and set off again.

At the next set of lights, the guy in the next car wound down the window to tell us that we were dragging an occy strap, so we pulled over once more, wondering what it could be as we don’t have any occy straps?! Turns out to be someone else’s occy strap which has hooked around the trailer lights and pulled them out of the socket (meaning we’ve had no lights for who knows how long) and badly damaging the attachment which miraculously turns out to still work when reattached but will need replacement later. After looping through the South Terrace area to get back on the Freeway we noted that we had taken 20 minutes to go 5 minutes worth of distance.

On arrival home (which we were amazed to see was only 2 hours after leaving instead of the 3 hours it felt like) we fell out of the car, fed lunch to the now crying babies and older children (not crying but complaining at the removal of their lolly bags for later), washed and re-dressed Miss 3 1/2, put twins to bed, send older 3 to room time, spent ½ an hour unloading the car and dumping everything to be dealt with later, ate some lunch ourselves and collapsed in a heap.

We looked around the house and noted that it had not cleaned itself in our absence and was now littered with all the camping gear as well and decided not to go camping again until all children were old enough to carry their own gear and put up their own tent… until the next time that is – got to build those childhood memories! We hear Dunsborough is nice over Christmas time…..

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More Duplo Bible Charades

Posted on October 3, 2011 by angathome

We have been swapping Duplo bible charades photos with family and the children have enjoyed figuring out their cousin’s creations. Here are a couple more of ours (made by adults and a 6 and 8 year old without assistance) for you to guess. Answers are at the bottom of the page – we are trying to make it a little harder so some are more obscure than others! If you have Duplo or Lego at home, give it a go. It’s a fun game the whole family will love. Our 3 1/2 year old did make her own creation; however as it doesn’t relate in any way whatsoever to the bible, we didn’t include it here! Instructions on how to play are here.

 

Adam and Eve being tempted in the garden

People lined up to speak with the prophet Debra

Noah and the rainbow

Daniel and the lions’ den

The tower of Babel

Camel going through the eye of a needle

Wise and foolish builders – house on rock and sand

Jacob’s ladder

Queen of Sheba coming to see Solomon

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Keeping The Sabbath – Master Ideas List

Posted on September 30, 2011 by angathome

   

We are helping our children memorize the Westminster Children’s Catechism. It is a series of questions that go through the main doctrines of the Christian faith, explaining them in a question and answer format. It helps the children to know exactly what it is they do believe and why. (It’s clarified a few things for us too!)

What has this got to do with the Sabbath? The following are questions 87 and 90 from the Westminster Catechism for Children:

Q. 87. What does the fourth commandment teach us?
A. To keep the Sabbath holy.

Q. 90. How should the Sabbath be spent?
A. In prayer and praise, in hearing and reading God’s Word, and in doing good to our fellow men.

Wow – these certainly challenged us. It’s difficult to recite catechism questions like these each morning knowing that you aren’t really acting them out. With 5 children 8 and under, Sunday is not always the rest day we would like. We had lots of good intentions but that was all they were. Therefore research and this article! I am hoping that these ideas assist you (and us) to turn Sunday into a day that truly honours and glorifies God, putting Him first in our lives.

Sabbath starts at sundown on Saturday and ends at sundown on Sunday. We have tried a few different approaches to Sabbath keeping and have found that when we designated the whole Sunday as our Sabbath or rest day, we always seemed to end up spending Sunday evening cleaning up and preparing for the following Monday. If we rested throughout the evening also, then I was left with an unorganised house and mountains of work to catch up on Monday morning. Starting Saturday evening means that;

  • we have the day on Saturday to prepare
  • a lovely evening meal and time together on Saturday night to look forward to
  • Sunday to attend church and put some of these ideas into place
  • Sunday evening to clean up and get organised for the rest of the week.

Plan! Celebrating the Sabbath well with a large family of young children requires planning and preparation. By the weekend we are tired and just want to crash, but when nothing is organised Sunday is frustrating, the kids get bored and ratty and we don’t get the rest we crave, never mind focus on God. When we plan fun and purposeful time that revolves around God and spend time interacting with the children, their love tanks are filled and they are then happy to spend time alone while we have a break. We end up thoroughly enjoying the family activities we plan and realise that the planning is well worth it.

Make lists! What do you have to prepare ahead to make this happen? When can it be done – don’t leave everything for Saturday afternoon. Lay out the clothes, right down to shoes, socks, tights, jackets and hair accessories. Pack the baby bag, collect the bibles and notebooks.

Clean the house. Spread the jobs throughout the week or have a whole family cleaning spree on Saturday morning. However you do it, make sure the house is clean and tidy before the Sabbath starts. It’s very difficult to show hospitality when the house is a mess.

Make Saturday evening a special meal with a beautifully set table. Make dessert and a meal that everyone will enjoy. Let the kids get out the candles.  It doesn’t have to be super fancy food, but with a little effort the table can look special and create an atmosphere that sets the Sabbath off on the right foot.

Show hospitality. Look out for those who would not usually be invited out or who are unable to return the favour. Connect with non-Christian friends – perhaps invite them to church and for a meal afterwards. Invite neighbours around. If you do not know them well, perhaps an afternoon tea will be a good place to start. We like to invite families over in the afternoon on Saturday for an early dinner so that the children can all get to bed at their normal bedtime and guests with their own children can be home at a reasonable time also. Lunch after church is fine at our house but going out doesn’t work so well for us because the littlies need to have naps.  Afternoon tea on a Sunday is also an easy option for us.

Prepare all meals ahead as much as possible, even breakfast. Choose meals that can be frozen during the week and reheated, or perhaps fill a slow cooker ready to turn on in the morning on Saturday or Sunday to be ready for the evening meal. Prepare salads and side dishes completely ahead if possible or at least do all the chopping, peeling, grating etc and toss them together when needed. Perhaps prepare a roast and leave it in the fridge so that it is ready to simply pop into the oven in the afternoon.

Go to church on Sunday. There will always be some reason why church is difficult. It interrupts little one’s sleep patterns, friends invite us to do other things, we are tired etc. etc. If church is optional our children get the message that other things are more important than God. Get there on time. (All right, we are not great at this because we still try to let both our babies have a nap before church but we will get better!)

Discuss notes taken, pictures drawn and important points from the morning sermon. Our children use pencils and clipboards to either draw or take notes during the sermon. It helps them to stay focussed during the service. Each family member takes a turn to share their notes or picture and explain something that they learnt or thought was important from the service during Sunday lunch.

Borrow bible or character based books, DVDs or videos from the church library each Sunday to use for quiet time later in the day.

Prepare a couple of Sunday school style activities or bible colouring pictures for the children to work on. Perhaps Dad could lead a family devotion while the children are colouring.

Choose scriptures to memorize for the following week and make posters to illustrate chosen verses. Put them on display throughout the week and read through them throughout the day or before meals until the children remember them. Older children can write out their scripture, parents can write verses out for younger children or choose them ahead of time and type up on the computer. Use old cards, wrapping paper, textas, glitter and the like for decorating. If posters are made on A4 paper or card, they can be slid into a presentation folder or laminated and made into a book and kept for review once memorised.

Work on Bible Lapbooks. Simple paper craft and activities relating to scriptures are mounted in manila folders. Key verses are written out and included (or printed for younger children) with the paper activities as memory joggers to illustrate the verses being studied. Ours match the family devotion readings from the previous week.

Play bible based board games. Choose a mixture of very simple games for littlies and some with more of a challenge for the older children. The best games are those that can be adapted to include all family members.

Bible charades. Participants choose a bible story or character to act out without speaking for others family members to identify.

Duplo bible charades. Family members use Duplo blocks to create representations of bible stories for others to identify. These can be still or animated.

Home- made bible trivial pursuit. The family is divided into teams of readers with non-readers. Readers choose a bible passage to read to their team, who then make up questions based on the passage. The passage is then read to the other teams once before the questions are asked. Points are awarded for correct answers.

Deliver a meal to a new mum, an elderly person,  someone who is sick or take biscuits (cookies) to a neighbour.

Learn a new hymn to sing through the week at family devotions or sing some you are already working on memorising.

Play the  bible on CD or praise and worship music throughout the day. It’s lovely to hear the children humming or singing words to Godly songs. What we listen to will stick in our head and how wonderful if the snippets that go around and around in our thoughts and the thoughts of our children throughout the day are Godly ones.

Read Godly material. Choose something that will bring you closer to God and centre your thoughts on Him; character based stories, great missionaries, and Godly bibliographies are but a few examples. Read aloud to the children while they colour bible pictures, do a craft, illustrate a verse or something related to the story.

Prepare family devotions, bible lapbooks lessons, character lessons or circle time for the week.

Visit a nursing home or retirement village and offer to read to the elderly or write letters for them.

Start a Sunday box filled with toys, books, activities and an ideas list only for use on Sundays.

Look through family photo albums or watch family home movies. Share anecdotes from your childhood and growing up times (e.g. How Mummy and Daddy met) or ask Grandparents to tell stories from the good old days. Scrapbook together. Record special family events and happenings, thoughts and achievements. Include favourite scriptures.

Act out bible stories, plays or mini musicals. Maybe take it on the road and perform at the local retirement home – they are very forgiving!

Make a care box for a missionary family. Spend some time writing letters, drawing pictures and taking photos to be included.

Make phone calls, write letters or emails to friends and loved ones, particularly those whom you haven’t been in contact with recently. Write thank you notes, birthday cards or simply “thinking of you” notes to people.

Make “blessing” baskets for people in the local community. You could choose emergency workers, hospital staff, school secretaries, or anyone else you would like to bless. Don’t forget to include a note of thank you, bible verse or perhaps a tract and an invitation to attend church.

Invite guests over for the following Sunday.

Make family goals, family mottos, family banners or family aims that will focus your family and assist you to pursue Godly excellence.

Put on a puppet show depicting a bible event or focussing on a spiritual truth or character quality.

Do some teddy teaching time. Use a special doll or teddy to act out proper manners at home, church, social etiquette situations or any other scenario where particular behaviours are polite and right. I have a collection of etiquette posters for a variety of situations that I have scanned into the computer, printed and cut into strips. Family teams lucky dip a strip and act out the right and wrong ways to handle given situations. Other teams try to guess which behaviour they are demonstrating and have to say what was right or wrong about the scenarios acted out.

Set personal and family goals for the upcoming year. Review previous goals. Look at all areas of life and evaluate where changes need to be made, what is going well, what needs work etc.

Start a character based praise system. Prepare a bunch of strips of paper and some kind of holder for the strips for each person in the family (such as a large envelope or paper plate halves stapled together.) Take a few minutes regularly throughout the week to note down positive character traits displayed by the children (e.g. Abigail showed compassion when she cared for Peta while she was sick) and post the strip into that child’s holder. Strips are drawn out and read in front of the family at lunch on Sunday. A character chart is useful to help identify character traits that are less obvious and more easily missed.

Use playdough or salt dough to construct something from the bible

Work on a Family service project or Volunteer at a relief organization.

Focus on one family member for the week and write down all the things we love about them in a giant card to be kept afterwards.

Object lessons. There are many books full of ideas for children’s sermons and object lessons.

Download sermons on the iPod to listen to during the week, burn onto CD for children to listen to in their rooms during room time

Hold a family meeting. What’s going well, not working, things we want to plan, needs being me or not being met. Be careful with the format and what can and should be shared. This is not a gripe session – children should be taught to go to a person who has offended them, not bring it up in family meetings.

Visit neighbours or invite them over

Make a book of rememberance recording how God has blessed you and worked in your life. Start a family memorial – a display of small objects that remind the family of answered prayers.

Decorate special boxes or containers for missionary funds or tithes

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Keeping the Sabbath – Duplo Bible charades

Posted on September 26, 2011 by angathome

We have been spending some time lately helping the children to memorize the Ten Commandments using this children’s 10 commandments video clip. At the same time, we are discussing each commandment and how it applies to our lives and specifically, what each one requires of us. We have also focused on how the law acts as a mirror to show us both how God requires us to live and also our absolute inability to keep the law perfectly – therefore our need for the saviour that God provided through Jesus.

 

One of the areas we are working on ourselves as parents is keeping the Sabbath. We find it particularly difficult to make this a rest day and time of focus on God when we have many little ones to get to church, keep fed, dressed and entertained for the day. I will be writing more about this over the next little while, however today I wanted to share one family activity that we have started on Sunday afternoons that caters for all ages, has been thoroughly enjoyed and keeps the focus on God – Duplo bible charades.

 

Duplo bible charades is an absolute winner in our house. Everyone uses the bricks to build a scene depicting a bible event, story or verse. The scene can be still or require animation. Once everyone is ready, we take turns presenting the scene for others to guess. Little ones team up with adults or build their own if they want to.

We are starting to branch out into the more obscure stories now and attempting to make them more difficult to guess. It’s lots of fun and a nice family relationship building activity.

I’ll leave it up to you to figure out which stories are represented in the photos – bearing in mind that the children had no trouble at all working them out!

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