Routines: Highchair time activities for babies

Posted on October 6, 2011 by angathome

After the post about highchair time yesterday, I thought it would be timely to follow-up with some suggestions as to what to give an older baby or toddler in a highchair to hold their attention and promote the concentration and patience we are working on.

I like to think of toy types in phases of development:

1 to 12 month old babies love toys that are good to mouth and sensory based toys that make sounds, feel interesting and look visually stimulating. Obviously within this age range there is a big difference in the kind of baby toy they are interested in, but in essence they are all “baby” toys for holding, touching, pulling, sucking, crinkling etc.

12 to 20 months olds enter the transition zone. Over the next few months the baby toys begin to lose their appeal and imaginative play has not yet kicked it properly. This means that the shiny red car is looked at, possibly mouthed for a minute or two, shaken, the wheels are spun around a couple of times, possibly pushed along and interest is gone. It doesn’t DO anything exciting and the child does not yet identify it as a small version of a car and drive it around making car noises because the pretend play element is not there yet. What they do like are toys that respond to their actions – that DO something. Pull a lever and an animal pops out, pop a ball in and music plays, tap the pegs and the turtle’s head pops out. This is the hardest age to supply toys for, because interest dies very quickly and those bright, colourful and interactive toys are expensive. You can join a toy library, swap with friends or make your own. (Lots of ideas coming soon.)

20 to 24 month olds and up are beginning to use their imagination, especially if they have siblings or a willing parent to show them how to play. They will begin to have tea parties, feed a teddy, set up the train tracks and create their own pretend play situations. The possibilities open up enormously and this age is so much easier to cater for.

In general, there are some great baby and toddler toys that can be purchased, however interest in most is short-lived as the child moves on to the next developmental level or simply has seen it enough to no longer be attracted to it.

Why not capitalise on the toddler’s natural attraction to learning new skills, copying Mum and Dad and using “real” things around the house to put together your own activities. They are cheap to make and can be disassembled once interest has passed. Important practical life skills can be introduced that will be used every day, many of them developing fine motor skills that will be vital for pencil grip and general hand control later on.

Here is my list of activities to make for babies with instructions for each. Practical life and general toddler activities will be posted individually from time to time and categorized under workjobs and Montessori activities so keep an eye out for them.

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Routines: Highchair time

Posted on October 5, 2011 by angathome

Do you want your baby or toddler to be able to sit and focus for an extended length of time? Do you want them to be able to sit and wait patiently during an unexpected delay in a public situation? Do you want time to tidy up the kitchen after meals, clear and wipe down the table and move to the next activity of the day without leaving a trail of devastation that needs to be cleaned up later?

Like all behaviours and character traits, we must actively work to build patience and concentration in our children. Highchair time is a practical way to achieve this goal with our little ones. It is easy to consistently implement and work into the daily routine without having to change much at all.

After each meal is finished, simply wipe up your child and hand them a book to read or small toy to play with. Around 20 minutes is a good time to aim for and if put into place after breakfast, lunch and dinner, gives you three daily training periods to work on these skills.

Initially, your little one may not be thrilled with Mum’s new plan and a common response will be to cry, complain, whine, throw the books and toys down and other such behaviours. If you ignore this kind of behaviour and simply go about cleaning up the kitchen, you will find that over the next few days, your child will be showing great strides towards happily sitting and concentrating on whatever it is you have chosen to give them.

If you pick up toys that are thrown down, then a very amusing game of fetch will be instigated. You may leave a child for 5 minutes and then return a dropped toy, instructing them that they need to stay in the highchair until Mummy is ready to get them down. If it is dropped again, leave it there. They will soon come to the conclusion that it is better to have something to do than nothing at all and keep what they have been given.

You may need 3 or 4 little toys or books and change them over every 5 minutes or so to keep their interest,  however this should be in Mum’s timing, not the child’s.

If you have heard about the 4 personality types, you will know that a choleric child loves to be in charge. A lot of the battles you have throughout the day and at bedtime with any child, particularly the choleric child, will be eliminated by instigating a parent led routine throughout the day, rather than allowing your young child to plan their own day or giving them large blocks of free time to fill.

An excellent resource for routine planning is Terrific Toddlers by Mel Hayde. It is my “must have” toddler and young child training book and I have gone back to it over and over. It is an easy read but is full of wisdom and excellent advice that will enable you to love the toddler years and eliminate the “terrible two” syndrome that everyone talks about. I will be posting ideas of activities to give your little one during highchair time over the next couple of days.

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Mat time

Posted on September 22, 2011 by angathome

Mat time training allows you to go anywhere and place a simple boundary on the ground for your child to play quietly in while you can relax knowing they are safe, quiet and happy. It is wonderful for those situations where a roving, noisy toddler is simply not welcome or could even be dangerous. It teaches children sitting and focussing skills and is excellent training for future learning situations that require extended concentration.

¨       The difference between room time and mat time is that there can be interaction during mat time (as long as the child stays on the mat) and mat times happen in sight of you, wherever you are working.

¨       Start with several smaller time slots throughout the day and work up to longer time periods at a single time in the day.

¨       Plan something to do that allows you to train during this time without becoming distracted. Remember, the purpose of the short time period to start with is to finish while it is going well and praise, praise, praise! Do not be tempted initially to extend the time in this training phase because it is going well and leave it until a problem happens – end on a good note.

¨       If a child tries to get off the mat immediately say “It’s mat time, stay on the mat” and gently but firmly move them back onto the mat.

¨       If the child is consistently getting off (and you are sure they understand the expectation to stay on) you may choose to put them into their cot. They can be bought back out after a short time to try again or if still getting off the mat, you may choose to have them finish the remainder of their mat time in the cot (or some other isolation area), with or without their toys.

¨       During the initial training period, you may choose to extend the time by joining the child on the mat once their capacity for independent play is exhausted. Be wary of letting them become dependent on you for entertainment.

¨       Further consequences can also be used once training is established and a child is still deliberately disobeying.

¨       Provide a few toys, not a lot. Better to change half way through than add too many at the start. Young children become overwhelmed with too many choices and end up unable to focus on anything.

¨       Toys that “accidentally” come off the mat are not returned. Use your discretion!

¨       Introduce packing away from first use – demonstrate first, do it with the child, then expect the child to pack away independently once they have mastered the skill of doing so with help.

¨       In order for a child to pack up independently, toys must be organised very simply e.g. open crates. Do not expect a toddler to pack toys into bags and boxes.

¨       Start when you know you will be able to be home for a few days in a row and consider introducing the mat several times each day for small time increments. Once you are ready to extend the time, once a day for a longer period may be sufficient.

¨       For young children, consider doing it through the weekend until well established

¨       Have it at a similar time each day

¨       Consider having some special toys that only come out for mat time or take other toys out of general circulation so they become interesting again.

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Moving to a big bed – managing your morning routine

Posted on September 21, 2011 by angathome

The age at which children transition from a cot to their big bed is up to the parents. Some start as early as 12 months, others wait until much later. I found around 2 years of age to be a good time, mostly as there were other babies on the way who would be requiring the cot! Don’t wait until a new baby has been born to suddenly make this big transition – have it all organised and any kinks worked through well and truly before bub arrives. This also prevents any resentment associated with the baby taking MY cot.

If your child is already trained to obedience during the day and will stay to play where you tell them, then you shouldn’t have too many hassles with them getting out of bed when they shouldn’t. If your child will not obey you during the day and stay where they are told, then it’s very likely that they will not obey you at night or in the morning either. Do this training first by implementing mat times, highchair times, playpen times and other obedience training during the day while everyone is much more able to deal with it in a calm and consistent manner. Be aware that almost all children will test your resolve a couple of times just to see what happens so be prepared and have appropriate strategies for dealing with children out of bed when they shouldn’t be – the FIRST time it happens.

Think about what you want the morning to look like. Will he be able to get out? Can she independently turn on a light and read books or access a few toys from a basket next to the bed? What is your goal for a morning routine that suits you now and in the long run?

While our children are still in a cot, we put books, teddy and a few small toys at the end after they have gone to sleep. To begin with, at the first peep in the morning we dash in, saying “Well done for staying quiet, now read and play quietly until we come and get you.” Initially they are left for very short times so that they can be successful and praised for their quiet time. This time is increased as they became used to the routine.

We wanted this time to be quiet as there were other siblings who we didn’t want woken up and in the long term, siblings may be sharing bedrooms. I also personally don’t like the idea of children being up and about without supervision. I trusted them not to do anything deliberately dangerous or destructive, but what if they wanted to be helpful and tried to make Mum a cup of tea with boiling water? Not much can go wrong if you are reading in bed! After this training is in place we stop going in to remind them and let them start reading and playing quietly themselves.

As children became older and closer to the move to their big beds, we transition to books only in the cot, rather than toys. This also leads to a long term love of books which is something we want to cultivate in our family. Once the change to a big bed is made, the exact same morning routine is used and we found that they never really thought of getting up and wandering about in the morning as they already knew what they were expected to do.

Parents will often ask how the child knows it’s time to start reading, particularly those whose children’s bedrooms are completely dark in the morning. Some strategies are:

Child turns light on and helps themselves to books next to their bed whenever they wake (I don’t like this as most children go through phases where they wake WAY TOO EARLY and if left laying down in the dark would quite possibly fall back to sleep.)

  • Soft music alarm, bunny clock or colour change clock that signals when it is time for lights on
  • Mum or dad comes in every morning to say it’s time to get up
  • Pin a paper clock next to their own analogue clock with the hands at the time they are allowed to rise.
  • Tape over the minute numbers on a digital clock and write the number the hour must match before they may turn on the light (or teach them to read it properly if you want wake up times to be half past the hour.)

It’s nice to build some excitement around the big move and get children really wanting to do it. Maybe they can come shopping for their new big boy/girl sheets, pillow, doona etc and help choose (Between an appropriate selection you pick out!) We were able to have the bed all set up in their new rooms (as each time has involved a room change as well as a bed change) a couple of weeks before they were “allowed” to sleep in it – you could do it in the same room if you have enough space. By the time we were ready for them to move, they were practically begging to be able to go in it. Each time they asked we’d recite all the rules and say they had to wait until they were responsible enough, big enough etc. to which they would be eagerly saying I will, I can, I won’t get out of bed and on and on until we finally said the grand day had arrived.

They also showed every family member and visitor the bed and we primed them to be really excited and talk about what a big boy/girl they are to be able to sleep in a big bed, ask when they were going to move to their new big girl room, what are the rules? etc.

If your child is a very mobile sleeper a bed rail may be a good idea or at least a mattress on the floor. We have borrowed rails but they make it difficult to sit and read to children on the bed so we get rid of them as soon as possible. Most of our children move around a lot in the cot but in a bed press themselves up against the wall and stay there – security maybe? One of our daughters on the other hand fell off repeatedly which we put down to the fact that it was summer and she wasn’t able to be tucked in under tight bedclothes – she kept getting out and laying on top them, rolling about and dropping off night after night. We had to go and borrow a rail again and needed it for about 6 months before we took it off and she was fine.

Another trick to stop falling out is to tuck a large towel or similar in a roll along the outside edge of the bed to tilt the mattress back with the slope down towards the wall side. Also, putting the top sheet on sideways so children are securely tucked in seems to stop them rolling towards the outer edge. (Children’s feet don’t go anywhere near the bottom of the bed anyway.)

All in all, the key is in the daytime training and consistent parenting throughout the entire day, not just at bedtime. Usually children love the idea of a big bed and with a little training and preparation, so will you!

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